Conversations In My Mind#3

 

Barcelona, Religion, The Head Scarf

 

Being a writer means you spend a lot of time with just yourself. Even after you have daydreamt to your heart’s content there’s still plenty of time between ideas. And that’s the time my writer’s brain comes up with these conversations with various people, some real, some imagined!

Conversation with neighbours

Me: (opening door to neighbour) Hello!

Neighbour: I hope I didn’t disturb you.

Me: No, no.

Neighbour: It’s just that someone told me that a writer had recently moved in here and I wanted to meet you.

Me: Yes, of course. I suppose it’s because you’ve never met a writer before?

Neighbour: No, no.

Me: Oh.

Neighbour: It’s because I wanted to ask you for something and…

Me: (with wild thoughts running through my head) Yes?

Neighbour: Do you think…if you aren’t too busy…could you sign your books for me?

Me: (looking around) Which books?

Neighbour: (pulling books out of her bag like a magician) These books!

Me: You… you have all my books.

Neighbour: Yes! And my children have read them all hundreds of times. They are always quoting bits from your books and…

Me: (in a daze, signing books) Yes, yes.

Neighbour: Some of the books are a little tattered because…

Me: Your children have read them so many times?

Neighbour: Well… yes. But it’s actually because they love your books so much they both want to read them. And so, sometimes they quarrel and tug them about and so…

Me: I love your children!

 

 

And here’s when reality colours the conversation with its grim shades!

 

Me: (opening door to neighbour) Hello!

Neighbour: Hi! Are you busy?

Me: Well, I am in the middle of some work and …

Neighbour: Ooh, do you work?

Me:  I am a writer. So, I don’t go to an office but yes, I do work.

Neighbour: Oh. So, what exactly do you do?

Me: I write stories and books for children.

Neighbour: All day?

Me: Of course not! I write when I get ideas.

Neighbour: Wonderful! Then you aren’t really busy. (Comes in and settles herself down)

Me: Er…I do have things to do.

Neighbour: Will your boss be angry?

Me: Oh, I don’t have a boss.

Neighbour: This is terrific. Then we can go out. I know! Let’s meet once a week and go out.

Me: (horrified) No, I can’t go out.

Neighbour: All right. Let’s have a weekly meeting here. I’ll get all my friends. They’ll love your house; it’s so nice and quiet. And your family is out all day. No one to object to any noise!

Me: But… I don’t really know these people. What will I talk to them?

Neighbour: Oh, just tell us about your job. No boss, no deadlines, working only when you feel like it – that exactly the kind of job we all dream of having!

 

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